Today, I sat down with a woman who shared with me small bits of her life. The very first sentence that she spoke was this: “I hate men.” I was taken back. Here was a tougher-than-nails woman, former prosecutor. But there was turmoil in her story. If you have experienced pain and power struggle at the hands of someone you trust or endured mistreatment, you understand this: the abuse bends your soul. And it will continue to bend until it breaks you. Unless, there is a pivot turn and you decide to rewrite your narrative.
In Genesis 37, we meet young Joseph, a straight sheet of a metal whose story will bend beyond recognition. Joseph isn’t married to an abusive spouse. But he is born into a family with half-brothers who abuse their relationship with him, ultimately to hurt and hurtle him off into slavery. Here, the metal sheet gets bent. In Egypt, Joseph is sold a second time to Potiphar, whose wife mistreats him by falsely claiming he took advantage of her. Once more, the metal sheet is bent. But something unexpected happens when we find purpose in our pain through our relationship with Christ. It has the power to stand up to the ugly bends in our mettle that aim to disfigure us.
In prison, Joseph unbends his soul as he strives to be a stellar prisoner and slam-dunks the favor of his jailers. In Potiphar’s house, Joseph unbends his soul again as he strives to be a faithful worker and stands up to Potiphar’s wife. In prison and in Potiphar’s household, Joseph makes a pivot turn from victimization to victory as he rewrites his narrative, straightening out the bends one disappointment at a time, one devastation at a time, one daunting task at a time, one day at a time.
In unbending, it’s helpful to have a reference point to remember what needs to be unfurled. My father is a good man and a grace reference point for my family. He raised my brother and I with deep care and deeper character. He has a PhD in architecture and is brilliant in math, but he converses in humble words. He modeled the best father we could have grown up with. Engaging in conversation with her again, I would share about him. That there are good men who make a difference in their family’s life in positive, not punishing ways. Because when we pivot towards God with His heart understanding our pain and pursue a different narrative with His hand breaking the abusive chain, God redefines what a good man is for us….His Son Jesus Christ.